binglemumps

Just another Uberotaku.com weblog

Last week someone at work emailed the office and said that he had Death Cab for Cutie tickets on Saturday night at the Greek Theater, so - mistakenly believing that they must have sold out - I impulsively replied and said I would take them. Then Ian ditches me the night before the concert and I end up going alone cos I decide not to be wimpy and lame.

I spend the whole concert imagining (or not) that people are giving me funny looks because I’m sitting on my patch of grass with my plastic cup of lemonade all by myself. I also eavesdrop on the group of chatty Asian American guys sitting next to me that talk about girls like they’re in high school even though at least one of them is apparently old enough to have graduated with an MBA at some point (more reason to believe that anyone can get an MBA). Also silently cursing the group of morons in front of me who blow cigarette smoke in my face and my general vicinity all night. Like jeez, I can deal with the smell of weed, but if you want to kill yourself with cigarettes please leave me out of your damn stupidity.

Anyway, in spite of all that, I really enjoyed myself. They played a lot of their older stuff and I’d spent the last few days doing the pre-concert cram on their latest album, so I ended up recognising most of the songs. A lot of their music is too emo for my taste, but I think good concerts make you walk away wanting to go home and immediately listen to not just the songs you already liked, but the songs you thought were completely mediocre before. And Transatlanticism is soooo good live! Made me all teary. Sniff.

Then today I went to the free Alice 97.3 concert at Golden Gate Park. I went with SW and her coworker who really wanted good seats, so we got there about 2 hours before it started. We did get really good spots near the stage, but as the day progressed more and more people started invading the spots between the picnic blankets in front of us and ruined our view. Bastards. 90% of them were either tall teenage boys with spiky hair that looked retarded but was very effective at getting in the way of pictures, or screaming teenage girls who wouldn’t stop talking and tromped all over our picnic blanket with their shoes. GAH. As you can tell, these concerts have done nothing to lessen my enmity towards the general public.

I was there to see Lifehouse, but there were 4 other bands/artistes that played - Secondhand Serenade, Marie Digby, The Last Goodnight and Ingrid Michaelson. Thanks to Real Rhapsody, I’d spent the last week acquainting myself with these heretofore unheard of people, but it was pretty much in vain. They were entertaining enough, but I emerged from the concert without much of an urge to  download any of their music. How sad is that, if you perform live and it was so unimpressive that you can’t even motivate someone to turn on their web browser and search for a torrent of your CD.

Lifehouse was really good though. I’d forgotten how much I liked their first album because everything that came after that was so uninteresting. Or maybe I’m just biased because Jason Wade is so hot. Unfortunately, according to Wikipedia he’s been married for 7 years. My life is over!!!!

So now I’m all psyched and in concert going mode. Before Saturday, my last concert was probably over 2 years ago. Goodness knows what I missed!

So on top of not being good at talking to strangers, the latest flaw I’ve discovered about myself is that I’m a real judgmental bitch. I mean, I always knew I was a judgmental bitch. But the realisation just struck me again recently, how I’m generally so unimpressed by people (especially people on Bart. And even more especially people on Bart on weekends. I HATE Weekend Barters. Here I am trying to get to work on a Sunday and there you are taking my seat cos you’re going to some stupid ball game. Gawd. Get off my turf already.)

It’s really hard for me to like people. I kinda forgot that for a while cos I’ve been liking everyone at work. But the Judgmental Bitch has now resurfaced. It’s so irrational. Even if I manage to rationalise it I can’t tell if it’s really because of the rational reason or if I just don’t like the person’s face.

But then that’s why I’m really nice to the people I like. And when I like someone I usually like them a lot. Cos they’re just so hard to find, you know? I always thought I was an easily amused person (I know py thinks so!!!) but then there aren’t that many people I meet who really make me laugh. Being funny is such an underrated feature. I think if you’re funny you can get away with so many things. But if you’re not funny you damn well better be making it up with every other aspect of your existence.

I’ve completely digressed. I miss my friends. I miss my coworkers who quit and went on vacation. I wallow in self pity. Boohoo.

I went to a client meeting today, one of my firsts, and realised that I’m completely incapable of making grown up conversation. It’s not just that I can’t think of interesting stories to tell, it’s that I don’t even know how to respond sometimes when someone says something that isn’t particularly interesting to me.

After the meeting we went to dinner and I was forced to stand around for an hour + while being largely excluded from the various conversations going on around the room. I was the most junior person there and by faaaaar more junior than anyone on the client side. I just don’t know how to schmooze. I can’t just go up to the CFO or whoever and get all chummy and crack jokes etc. And I’m definitely terrible at talking to people close to retirement age.

I must appear utterly boring and opinion-less to people I don’t know very well. Can I get through life like this???? Is my career doomed????

Taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salman_rushdie:

“James Phillips of the Heritage Foundation testified before Congress that a 1989 explosion in Britain was a Hezbollah attempt to assassinate Rushdie which failed when a bomb exploded prematurely, killing a terrorist in London.[20] There is a shrine in Tehran’s Behesht-e Zahra cemetery for Mustafa Mahmoud Mazeh that says he was “Martyred in London, August 3, 1989. The first martyr to die on a mission to kill Salman Rushdie.” Mazeh died priming a book bomb loaded with RDX explosives that took out two floors of a hotel in Paddington, Central London.”

Wow. What a f***ing moron. This is stupid on so many levels. He can’t even set a bomb off right and he gets a shrine? Are you kidding me?